Supporting Our Friends with Cancer

One of every eight women will be diagnosed with some form of cancer. If you don’t already know someone who is fighting this battle, you eventually will. I’ve found an inspiring resource for supporting women with cancer, and am excited to share it with you.

A woman’s life after the diagnosis can become a whirlwind of action and emotion. Typically, friends want to help…but they don’t know how to. The patient might not know, either. I encountered a remarkable organization that assists these women and even helps us know what to do: Breast Friends (breastfriends.org).

This organization supports both the woman and those who are close to her. Breast Friends knows what the woman will go through even before she begins the journey, and has anticipated her needs. They offer a breast cancer survival kit, and another survival kit for her family. After the treatment ends, they help women transition back into life after cancer. Their counselors give classes, retreats, and workshops on how to return to the life they were living before cancer. It’s all about helping women and their communities cope during this very difficult journey. 

A friend of mine recently heard of a friend’s cancer diagnosis. She was apprehensive about calling her, because she didn’t know what to say. But she stepped out and dialed the number, and was so glad she did. Her friend needed support and she was there for her; they talked and cried, for an hour. She was so glad she called.

If one in eight women will have cancer, it’s up to the other seven women to support her. We can! Visit BreastFriends.org  to see their amazing offerings. I’ll close with their list of ways you can show you care. And…don’t forget to visit your doctor every year for your own check up!

-Keri

Tips to Show You Care

• Just Call to Chat
• Give a hat shower for your friend. Have everyone bring a cool hat.
• Send out email to co-workers and friends and give your friend’s address so people can send cards and letters.
• Gather together some mutual friends and make a “Walk Beside Me” Quilt.
• Take up a collection and buy a day of house cleaning, window washing or carpet cleaning for your friend.
• Cook a meal for her family on chemotherapy days.
• Drop by with a milkshake.
• Go to a matinee movie and/or to lunch.
• Drop by to do some laundry.
• Run some errands for her: grocery shopping, post office, bank deposits, etc.
• Go for manicures and pedicures together.
• Get her a gift certificate for a healing massage.
• Just Call to Chat
• Wash her car.
• Help with yard work, and chat while working.
• Take her to hit a bucket of golf balls (depending on her level of strength.)
• Arrange for a day of babysitting so she can rest.
• Go wig shopping and try on crazy colors (the crazier the better!)
• Buy her a new shade of lipstick.
• Add her to your church’s prayer chain; some women’s groups will also send cards and notes.
• Ask her to make you a list of errand, chores and tasks so you can pass them around for others to help
• Have a going away boobie party.
• Invite her to a special lunch and bring out the fancy china and silver. Don’t forget the linen napkins. What are you saving them for anyway? Celebrate your friendship and life.
• Many restaurants have gourmet foods to go. Bring home her favorites and enjoy them with her in comfy clothes.
• There is nothing better than the smell of warm bread, or the taste of warm bread with a slather of butter. 
• Share the experience with her, and of course do the clean up. Slice it up and freeze it, so she can enjoy it later as well.
• Bring over an assortment of herbal teas. Looking for a better night sleep? Try chamomile. Need an afternoon pick up? Try hibiscus and rose hips.
• Just Call to Chat
• If your friend likes to cook, bring over some fresh herbs, many supermarkets are stocking them these days.
• Ice cream sundaes are always in style, bring over a few toppings and you have instant fun.
• Create a fun “Do Not Disturb” sign for her to use it if she needs some alone time. Great for the bathroom door to take that long relaxing bath or an afternoon nap. Don’t forget a nice basket of bath products.
• If time is short, pay a responsible teenager to do some mundane & tiring errands to take away some of the burden of chores.
• Breakfast-in-bed is always a hit; don’t forget the flowers to brighten up the tray.
• Take your friend for a new look. It’s more fun to do it together. If she’s up to it, try on some new styles of clothes together. A bald head goes well with punk styles. Pick something you would never normally wear and have a good laugh. Don’t forget the camera.
• Get a few wild temporary tattoos and have fun putting them in daring places.
• Drive your friend around so she can more easily do those errands, it will take some of the stress out of errands and make them more fun at the same time.
• Pamper your friend with a paraffin wax treatment, the warm wax does wonders for circulation and makes your hands soft and smooth. Can be used for sore, tired feet as well.
• When you come to visit your friend, suggest she take a long hot bubble bath while you watch the kids, do the dishes or just field the phone calls.
• Just Call to Chat
• Before she loses her hair, dye it a color she’s always talked about, or get it cut short and sassy. Encourage her to be daring by trying out some new styles or looks. Remember, it’s probably only going to last for a week or so.
• Try some art therapy. Not creative enough? Bring over a couple of coloring books and color crayons and help her feel like a kid again with color book therapy. Good time to talk and bring out the creativity even if she isn’t an artist. Don’t forget, it’s ok to color outside of the lines.
• If your friend is dealing with lymphedema, you could hire a massage therapist that is specially trained to help relieve the pressure and help her relax.
• If you like to do crafts, bring over the supplies and share this new craft with your friend.
• If you have a sweet pet that likes people, share them with your friend. Pets have a special healing power (check for allergies beforehand).
• One way to pamper your friend is to shampoo her hair (or massage her head with lotion if she has no hair).
• Oh yeah… Just Call to Chat!

And finally… If she says no, don’t give up, continue to offer to help.